


Bound

by orphan_account



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andy is not amused by this turn of events, But I promise there will be a happy ending, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Immortal Nicky, M/M, Malta, Modern Joe, Mortal Joe, Reincarnation, That goes horribly wrong, The fluff starts to show up around chap 5, There will be a lot of pain and sadness for a long time, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, honeypot mission, i really don’t know how to tag this but let’s just say the reincarnation bit is real important., or is he???????, yeah....that Malta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:20:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25741216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Destiny had bound Joe to Nicky for over nine hundred years.  Where one went, the other followed, both in life and in death.  Or at least that is what Nicky had always thought.  A mission gone wrong shows Nicky just how cruel fate could be.But destiny could not leave him wounded and hollow forever.Two souls, tied together by love and fate may never be parted.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 140
Kudos: 232





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry!
> 
> Like this first chapter is so painful but I promise that it will get better.
> 
> Warning for Major Character Death. And I really mean it here, like I know death is a given with this fandom but this one sticks (for like a lot longer than is to be expected for our immortals). Also brief attempts at suicide. The descriptions are not particularly graphic but I wanted to include the trigger warning for everyone.
> 
> The first few chapters are intense but it starts to level out into something more in the realm of fluff and angst around chapter 5.

The job had gone to shit faster than any of them could have expected. 

It was a drug cartel somewhere in Central America. 1990 maybe? The decades following WWII had blurred together a bit, moving from one job to another. The world had been in turmoil for so long and the demand for people like them, people with their particular skill set, was high so they never found themselves without work for long. It had grown exhausting. Maybe after this time they would take a moment for themselves. Maybe a week or two in Italy, or Paris. Joe had been making noise about wanting to visit New Zeeland again. Perhaps they would settle there, a few years of peace would do them good. But first they needed to finish this job.

The cartel had been more well prepared than they had expected, not that it mattered very much when they couldn’t die but that didn’t mean that they appreciated the pain they had to suffer simply because they had made the mistake of underestimating their opponent. By the time the smoke had cleared Andy had taken a bullet to the shoulder, Nicky in the thigh, and Joe had been stabbed in the gut. Booker came away relatively unscathed, a few grazes, healing over almost instantly. The bullet had lodged itself in Andy’s shoulder, it would take a few moments to push its way out and heal over. Nicky’s had gone clean through and he was on his feet after only a moment, stepping over the dead bodies of the drug lord and the enforcers they had taken down to crouch next to where Joe was laying, tugging the knife out so the wound could begin closing.

“Only you would get stabbed during a gun-fight Yusuf,” he joked, pushing some of Joe’s curls off of his forehead.

Joe shifted a bit, wincing at the movement, “Fuck, this one hurts too.”

“You ok Joe,” Booker asked from where he was helping Andy off the ground.

“Yeah, just give me a moment, asshole got me deep,” Joe responded, gritting his teeth as he tried to shift around, trying to sit up only to have Nicky stop him with a firm hand on his chest.

“Stay down, give it a moment,” something was amiss. Worry was starting to set in, but no panic yet as Nicky started to push aside Joe’s clothes. It couldn’t be, the fates would never be so cruel. Nicky had pulled Joe's tactical vest off as quick as he could. Had Joe been himself he probably would have made a joke about Nicky being so quick to undress him, something silly that would have them both devolving into giggles. Nicky peeled his shirt away to reveal the gut wound with more care, trying not to pull at the wound too much. There was too much blood, even for a deep wound. “Andy,” Nicky found himself shouting, terror rising up in his chest. The wound wasn’t healing, it wasn’t closing. 

“Nicolo,” Joe was trying to rise up, “Nico, what’s happening.” Somewhere in back of Nicky’s mind, in the last remaining rational part that had not descended into panic, he recognized that Joe’s body was going into shock, he was trembling, breath coming in shallow pants.

“No, no, no, not like this,” Nicky started repeating it like a mantra, hands pressing down to try to staunch the flow of blood. “Andy, he’s not healing,” he found himself screaming.

Booker and Andy were at his side in an instant, Andy pushing Nicky’s hands away, pressing a bundle of cloth to the wound. “Hold on Joe, we’ll get help, just hold on,” she turned to look at Booker now, “Find some medical equipment or a first aid kit, there has to be one somewhere, we need to stop the bleeding, now.”

Booker was out of the room in an instant, tearing through the compound, looking for something, anything he could find to help Joe.

Nicky had moved back away, giving Andy room to work to try to stop Joe from bleeding out, shifting up so he could cradle Joes head in his lap, hands in his hair, dancing across his beloved’s face, trying to keep him calm and keep him awake, bending down to press kisses anywhere he could reach, cheeks, nose, eyelids, lips. “Stay with me my love, I need you, it’s not your time, please, I need you too much.”

“It’s not getting better is it,” Joe’s words were starting to slur, his eyes losing focus.

“You’re going to be fine Joe,” Andy insisted, but the undercurrent of terror in her voice was hard to ignore. “Booker,” she shouted, the other man appearing in the doorway a moment later. “Did you find anything?”

A short sharp jerk of his head and the wide look of despair told them everything they needed to know. Booker dropped to his knees on Joe’s other side, grabbing one of Joe’s hands, pressing it to his forehead, tears beginning to form. 

Nicky had to fight back the wail of despair that was working it’s way up his throat. “No, no I can’t.” he pressed another kiss to Joe’s lips, pulling back to look at Joe, hands cupping Joe’s cheeks, thumbs brushing along his cheekbones. “We go together, I can’t lose you.”

“Shhh,” Joe, sweet beautiful Joe who only ever thought of Nicky and making sure he was cared for. Even as he lay dying in Nicky’s arms his only thought was to do everything he could to sooth his other half. “Everything dies, remember Nicolo, we don’t get to choose our time.”

“I won’t be far behind Yusuf, I promise,” Destiny couldn’t be so cruel as to take Joe from Nicky, without his heart Nicky would be nothing. The fates wouldn’t dare deprive him of his final death once his beloved had left this world. 

A sharp cough wracked Joe’s body, blood bubbling up on his lips but he still managed to get a few words out. “You need to live Nicolo, for me. I will wait, will always wait for you.” Another cough, his breath going weak. “It’s time, Nico.”

“No, not yet,” Nicky begged, “Please not yet.”

Joe’s eyes had fallen closed at this point, his voice barely more than a whisper, “I love you.”

“And I you, always,” Nicky pressed frantic kisses to Joe’s face. “Always,” he repeated again and again even as he felt Joe go still beneath him. 

Endless moments passed, Nicky couldn’t be sure how many, but Andy was shaking his shoulder, pulling him back from where he had curled over his dearest’s form. “Nicky, we need to leave, people will be coming, we can’t stay here.” Her voice was thick with grief, Joe had been as much her brother as he was Nicky’s lover. He wasn’t the only one to lose family today.

She’d have to suffer one more loss before this day was over he thought, body springing into action when he spotted a hand gun to his left. He dove for the gun, barrel beneath his chin and the trigger pulled before Booker or Andy could even twitch. After that, everything was black.

The blackness didn’t last near long enough, and for a brief moment, before he jerked back to reality, before the air rushed in he thought he heard Joe’s voice, soothing tones speaking a long dead language. Not yet my love, the world still needs you. 

He jerked upwards, a sharp gasp as he returned to the land of the living, immediately diving for the gun once more, pulling the trigger again, more blackness.

My love were you not the one always saying we don’t get to choose our time, that it is for destiny to decide.

This time when he jerked back to life both Booker and Andy had a grip on his arms, restraining him, the gun he had used kicked just out of reach.

“Not here, Nicky,” Andy demanded, her face inches from Nicky’s as they held him down, “not now and not like this, we need to leave.”

“I’m not leaving him here,” Nicky demanded, he didn’t even sound like himself, his voice like an echo something distant and far off, “I can’t.”

“We won’t, Nicky we’d never leave him here,” that was Booker.

“I can’t….”Nicky wasn’t sure what he had meant to say, but the sob that tore through his body cut off whatever else might have followed.

It hadn’t mattered really, nothing would, not without his other half.

\--  
They buried Joe outside of their safehouse in Colombia. Nicky had wanted to take him back to Malta, lay him to rest by the seaside safehouse Joe had adored, but that would have taken weeks and drawn too much suspicion. 

The decades that followed were difficult for Nicky. He spent the first decade or so trying to find new and increasingly creative ways to die in hopes that one of them might stick, that perhaps it was simply a numbers game, that it was just a matter of him dying as many times as Joe had and then it would stick. That wasn’t the case though, never had been. If it had been so simple Andy would have been ash long ago.

The turn of the millennium came and went without much notice from Nicky, but eventually he stopped trying to die. He didn’t actively avoid death, in fact he had grown far more reckless on missions, but he had come to the conclusion that whatever afterlife waited for them, he would not reach it by his own hand. 

Missions continued on. He fought, he killed, he died, and yet the world continued to spin, Nicky feeling like little more than a hollowed out shell, the passing of time and Joe’s absence an endless torment. Thirty years passed, but it could have been a thousand.

Andy drifted in and out, never staying for too long in their lives, unable to look Nicky in the eyes and not see her own grief reflected back at her. Unable to live with the knowledge that she had lost another member of their family. Lykon, Quynh, now Joe. 

Booker, however, remained, by Nicky’s side, his near constant companion. He drank less, still far more than he should but noticeably less than he had before Joe’s death. There were times when Nicky appreciated his companionship, but more often than not he took little notice of the other man, instead throwing himself into more and more missions, anything to keep his thoughts away from the grief that reared its head when the night grew dark when Joe's voice in his mind was the clearest. When the voice of his beloved tried to sooth and calm him even as he tortured him endlessly with the knowledge that his soul had been cleaved in half.

They had been in Marrakech for maybe a day when Booker received word from one of his ex-CIA contacts, a kidnapping, young girls held hostage, not something they could simply stand by and allow. Even Andy’s misgivings about repeating a contact pushed aside. Still, there was one voice of caution, one voice urging them to look deeper, to see beyond Copley’s facade.

Don’t do this Nicky, something is wrong here and you know it. Concern was clear in Joe’s voice as it rang through Nicky’s head. 

In life it had been centuries since Nicky had cast a harsh word in Joe’s direction, in death he found himself less forgiving. 

You left me, you don’t get a say in what I do anymore.

What Nicky couldn’t have known is that destiny had set him on a collision course towards something new, something beautiful, and something terrifying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is some descriptions of very very unethical medical practices. It’s vague and I try not to make anything too graphic, but advance warning to everyone in account of Kozak’s horrific morals and the fact that Merrick’s a sadist.
> 
> We spend a lot of this chapter in Nicky’s head, we’ll get out of it and get a bit more of Joe in the next.
> 
> The chapter is pretty short but it’s intended to be basically a set up for everything to come so they are going to start getting much longer

Nicky’s world had ended with a mission gone wrong, it only made sense it would restart with one as well. 

Sudan had been a debacle, then suddenly Nile had shown up and within a few hours Nicky had been captured. 

Perhaps this was it. Nile’s timing was fortuitous, perhaps it was finally his time to rest, that he would find his end at the hands of this mad man and his pet Dr. and he would finally be able to join his beloved. 

_ It must cause Andy and Booker great pain to know how eagerly you run towards death. Is our little family not enough to keep you moving love.  _

_ They’re not you _ , Nicky hissed back at Joe,  and they would understand . 

_ My how jaded you’ve become. Were you not the one always counseling faith and patience. Do you really think I’d leave you so alone for so long.  _

_ You already have.It’s been 30 years Joe .  _

_It will end soon my love, I promise_. 

Joe wouldn’t break a promise like that to Nicky, not after so long.So he waited, sat back and let himself become their science experiment. 

Time passed, maybe a month he wasn’t sure and they had moved on to bringing other humans, mortals, into their experiments.At first they had used volunteers, men from Merrick’s pool of body guards or other scientists seeking to have their names written in the history books. After a few rather grotesque deaths volunteers became harder to come by and the next victims were rather less willing. 

They’d moved labs at this point, something secret and deep in the English countryside, something equipped with some very nice cells for when they didn’t have him strapped to a table. 

The most recent attempt of theirs had been a blood transfusion. They’d hooked a young girl, maybe seventeen, to a series of tubes and started to pump Nicky’s blood into her, directly from the source.Nicky fought as hard as he could that time. His death he was willing to accept, destroying the life of someone else, particularly one so young, that was something he could not stand for. 

He fought as long as he could until the blood loss started to weigh to heavily on him, until his struggles grew weaker. Blackness began creep into his vision, he was dying, he knew that, but he remained conscious just long enough to hear the girl begin screaming. 

They’d cleared out her body by the time Nicky came too. Kozak and Merrick were standing at the foot of his bed, speaking in hushed tones. 

“It’s taking too long, we’ve made no progress,” frustration was evident in Merrick’s voice. 

“It takes time, we are treading in new ground,” Kozak soothed. 

Merrick looked ready to snap back but they were interrupted by shouting in the hall. 

“Ah, must be our latest subject,” Merrick’s smile had grown wide as he turned to Nicky.“This one is special, and investigative journalist that was snooping around a bit too much.”

“Isn’t that dangerous, someone might notice him missing?”

Merrick just waived Kozak’s concerns aside. “He mostly works freelance, it will take weeks for any of the major news outlets he usually works with to notice him missing, and even if they do it’s not as though he hasn’t made more than enough enemies to deflect suspicion.”

The doors burst open suddenly, more shouting as a body was thrown to the floor, zip tied hands just barely stopping the new man from crashing down face first.Nicky’s heart stopped for a second at the sight of dark curls.Surely the universe could not be so cruel. 

Keane stepped through, jerking the man to his feet and Nicky couldn’t stop the sharp wounded sound that left his throat. 

It couldn’t be, it wasn’t possible. He was younger than before, somewhere in his mid to late 20’s, but the face staring back at him was unmistakable. The same wide dark eyes, the same dark curls, even after 30 years Nicky could have picked Joe out from a crowd of thousands, he would never forget that face. 

_ This is just cruel my love, you can’t torture me like this, you can’t drive me to see your face in every passing stranger with dark hair or kind eyes.  _

The voice that had been his near constant companion for these last 30 years was silent and for the first time in a long time Nicky felt completely alone in his own mind. 

They started to push the new man towards the other bed, even as he fought kicking and spitting curses at them in English and Arabic. 

His movement spurred Nicky into action as well and suddenly Nicky was fighting against his bonds, harder than he ever had before, screaming curses at them, slipping in and out of languages, some of them long dead and completely incomprehensible. 

“Wait,” Merrick called, stalling the movements of his men as they tried to strap this new man to the table, “somethings different.”The stare he gave Nicky was calculating and a moment later his eyes lit up, “oh this is fantastic, you know this one.Oh this should be entertaining. Dr. Kozak, surely we can take a brief break from our work. Keane, take them both down to the cells, put them in one together.”

“No!” He found himself shouting, but his protests were cut short as someone jabbed a tranquilizer into his side. As blackness crept in the last thing he saw was Joe, fighting with all he could. 


	3. Chapter 3

Nicky woke up first.

That wasn’t surprising, given how he healed he would metabolize any sedative fairly quick. 

What was surprising was that they had left the two of them in the same cell,even placed them on the narrow cot that was there. Nicky was lying on his back with the stranger pressed up against his side, head resting on Nicky’s shoulder. 

Nicky couldn’t help but take the few moments he had been given to examine the other man more closely.His face was younger, looked less weighed down with the weight of centuries, and his beard was more closely trimmed than it had been when Joe had been killed.His hair was a bit different as well.Nicky couldn’t exactly place why, maybe a bit shorter on the sides.He was also clearly less muscular than Joe had been.Well built, but slimmer than he had been after centuries of war and death.Still even with the slight differences the resemblance was uncanny. 

A distant relative maybe, Joe had had family. Maybe a cousin had survived the crusades and the family line had continued on.It was the only explanation that made any sense.Then again when had logic or reason dictated anything in Nicky’s life. 

Just as he was contemplating shifting out from beneath the other man, so he might avoid the rather awkward conversation about why he was staring down adoringly at him and watching him sleep, Nicky’s companion let out a low groan and began to stir. 

Nicky was careful as he extricated himself from the stranger, shifting back until he was sitting at the head of the bed, back pressed against the wall allowing Joe’s doppelgänger enough space to push himself up into a seated position.They’d removed the zip ties so he was able to move freely, not that it mattered to terribly much when they were trapped in a cell. 

Nicky watched the stranger slowly regain awareness of his surroundings.The adorable way his nose scrunched up and his brow furrowed was the same look Nicky had seen on Joe’s face thousands of times. His love had never been one to wake quickly, it seemed his look alike shared that trait. 

He could tell the moment he had recalled what had happened in the way his eyes darkened with rage and the sharp expletive that flew from his mouth, another shared trait, this was growing more unsettling.Even their voices sounded the same. 

“That slimy disgusting fucker, I knew it, I knew he was involved in some illegal shit,” he was standing now, pacing. 

“I think you’ll find there is a bit more to it than that,” Nicky found himself saying, quickly drawing the mans intense stare.

“How long have they had you?I’m Joe by the way,” because of course he was.He strode across the tiny room in just a few steps, holding his hand out in greeting and Nicky could almost laugh at the formality of the gesture and how wrong it felt to greet Joe like this.

Still he took the hand offered, suppressing a shiver at the way Joe’s warm, calloused palm felt in his, “Nicky, and I’m not sure, a few months maybe.”

Joe let out a whistle, “that must mean your patient zero, most of the bodies they’ve found have shown up a week or so after they were reported missing.”

“Something like that,” Nicky responded, pulling his hand away, somewhat reticent to separate him from Joe’s warmth.“How exactly did you find yourself in this particular predicament.”

Nicky felt a little relieved when Joe looked away, his intense gaze turning to look around the room. “I’d started digging into some of the shadier things Merrick was doing about six months ago. Thought it would be a good story, another one I could break that would hopefully make the world a little bit of a better place once I’d finished it. The first break I had managed to get was a lead on a bunch of mercenaries massacred in a tiny town just outside of Paris about three months ago, looked like an unsuccessful kidnapping from what I could tell.”

Nicky couldn’t resist, “perhaps not entirely unsuccessful.”

That had Joe’s head jerking down eyes wide with shock, “that was you?”

Nicky couldn’t help but laugh, even if this man wasn’t his Joe he was so similar and it set off a curl of warmth in his belly. “The death and destruction, no, that was my family. Being the victim of that particular kidnapping, yes.”

“25 people were killed.”

“I’m sure they were all very bad men and Andy had her reasons.”

Whatever subconscious attempts Nicky had been making at driving Joe off were clearly not working as the man could only respond with a bright smile as he moved to sit down next to Nicky on the bed, “true, and it likely was self defense since if they were kidnapping you I can only assume they were after the rest of your family as well.”

Nicky tilted his head to the side as he regarded the other man, “you are astoundingly perceptive for someone so young.”

Joe just shrugged, a shy smile on his face, “comes with the job, you don’t make it long in any respectable circles of journalists without being able to follow a thread.”

“Mhmmm,” Nicky just hummed in response, shuffling over a bit so he was just a hairs breadth then away from Joe, pressed shoulder to shoulder while they both leaned back against the wall of their cell. “You we’re finishing your story about how you ended up here?” He prompted once more.

“Oh right,” Joe started with a jolt as though he was just been interrupted telling Nicky some silly story and not describing his own kidnapping.“I had a contact from a previous story who has a sister who worked at one of Merrick’s labs who just up and quit about two months ago. She wouldn’t tell me much, was terrified to even meet with me, but I was able to get enough from what she told me to infer that Merrick was getting involved in some human experimentation. Now that I’ve met you I’m guessing you and her crossed paths at one point and what they were doing to you must not have sat right. After that there was a rash of missing persons reports, bodies started showing up and I couldn’t help but begin to connect the dots.When they brought me in I was supposed to be meeting with a new source. I usually never meet new sources in person without vetting them multiple times, but so many bodies were starting to show up and I felt like I had to do something so I took a chance. They grabbed me before I really knew what was happening and here I am.”

Nicky had forgotten how idiotically selfless Joe had always been.Well, his Joe, he amended once more. Perhaps it was a family trait if this was true my a distant relative like he suspected.“And here you are.”

“What about you,” Joe asked, nudging Nicky with his shoulder, “how did you end up here?”

Well, the love of my life and I tried to murder each other three dozen times 900 years ago, realized we couldn’t, found a family, fought in more wars than I can count, died more times than I cared to remember and then I lost him so here I am.

Not something Nicky could say aloud without sounding insane so instead he skirted the truth. “I lost someone very important to me and I got sloppy, distracted, and here I am.”

Joe’s eyes went soft again. “I’m sorry for your loss, who were they.”

You,  Nicky found himself thinking.“My husband,” he responded instead.

“I’m sorry,” and he sounded genuinely sorry.

The conversation between them faded away into companionable silence.For a few moments. It was nice, Nicky hadn’t enjoyed the feeling of just sitting by Joe’s side for three decades and even if this wasn’t his Joe he could take a moment to pretend it was, to let the fantasy stay alive for a little longer. 

This Joe it seemed was not one for letting silence longer very long. Nicky was relieved to finally find a difference between the two in his mind, although he suspected it had far more to do with nurture than nature. The modern world was so different than the one they had come of age in, less willing to linger in the quiet.

“So how are we going to get out of here?”

“I’m not entirely certain we will,” Nicky found himself responding, unable to be anything more than completely honest given the circumstances.

“Come on now Nicky, have a little faith, your family has got to be looking for you and after what I saw at the church, Merrick’s little goon squad isn’t going to be much of a challenge for them.”

Nicky just shrugged, he would have said more but somewhere, distantly he heard what sounded like gunfire followed by a small explosion.  No, it couldn’t be,  he thought as he and Joe scrambled to their feet.

Next thing he knew the door to the tiny windowless room they had been shoved into was blown off its hinges and Nicky was shoving Joe behind him for protection.

There wasn’t much need for it, when the smoke cleared it was just Andy, Booker, Nile and surprisingly, Copley standing on the other side.

“You’re late,” Nicky drawled.

“You’re hard to find,” Andy quipped back, eyes glancing over Nicky for any major injuries. “Who’s your friend?” She asked after she finished her assessment.

Nicky steppes a bit to the side, still keeping Joe slightly behind him just in case, but far enough to give all of them a clear view, “Joe, meet my family.”

Andy almost dropped her the gun, Booker did drop his. “What the fuck.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to step out of Nicky’s head for a bit and spend a little time with Nile.
> 
> Andy does not lose her powers and Booker did not betray them. Why you ask, because dammit I want the little family to be happy.

“Guys, we really need to get out of here,” Nile was standing guard at the door, more than a little confused as to what was taking so long and why Andy and Booker looked like they had seen a ghost. They found Nicky, and apparently someone else who had been kidnapped as well, and now they needed to leave. 

“Nicky, what’s going on,” that was Booker. 

“I’m not really sure, but Nile is right, we need to be leaving.”

Andy had remained silent, eyes wide, just staring at the stranger in the room. Nile couldn’t exactly place it, but something about him seemed familiar. Still, this was definitely not the time or place. She grabbed the hand gun that was strapped to her waist and pulled the broadsword that had been slung over her shoulder off, walking over to Nicky to press them into his hands. Nile hadn’t exactly known Nicky long, but she could recognize the small smile of gratitude in his face. 

Nicky took the sword for himself and turned to hand the gun to the other man, Joe, Nile reminded herself, Nicky had introduced him after all. “Do you know how to use a gun.”

Nile watched, a little surprised as Joe expertly handled the gun, hands steady as he checked it over. “I’ll get by.”

“I thought you were a journalist,” Nicky’s smile just got wider and Nile was really fighting the urge to roll her eyes and tell them to get a room the way Nicky was practically making heart eyes at Joe. God these people were so weird, of course Nicky would be the type to get hot and bothered over someone being able to competently handle a weapon. 

“I am, but I also was a part of the team for CNN that was embedded with the U.S. forces in Iraq right after I graduated from NYU and then eventually with the forces in Afghanistan. I learned a thing or two. Do I even want to ask about the sword?”

“Later,” Nicky responded. Nile was starting to seriously wonder if these two had known each other before this whole situation. The way they fell into almost perfect synch seemed like something that would only come from years of knowing a person. 

Then something suddenly clicked in her brain and she realized why Joe seemed so familiar. “Wait a minute, you’re Joseph Jones, your like the reporter wonder kid who broke the Hollywood sexual assault story like five years ago. What the hell are you doing here?” Also he looked way younger than Nile thought he would, like barely older than her even though Nile was pretty sure his Wikipedia page listed him as being somewhere around 30. 

“Ah, yeah,” Joe responded sounding a little embarrassed, his free hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck, “it’s a pseudonym but yeah that’s me. I may or may not have started snooping around Merrick and it turns out he didn’t exactly appreciate it.”

“I imagine he wouldn’t,” that was Copley. “But I also must agree with Ms. Freeman, we need to go, now.”

That spurred them all into action, Booker still looked like he was a little dazed, but he stepped outside taking the lead, Copley behind him, Joe stepping around Nicky to fall in synch with the others, just a quick look back to make sure Nicky was following. 

Nicky moved to go as well but Andy’s hand in his arm brought him to a quick stop. 

“Nicky, is it...”

Nicky just have a short jerk of his head before relenting a bit and shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know what it is, but I need to protect him this time.” Nicky pulled away from Andy, following Joe out the door, Andy and Nile bringing up the rear. 

Everything after that was a bit of a blur. Nile thinks she might have died twice, possibly three times, Booker once, Andy four times and Nicky twice. Somehow they managed to keep both of the mortals in their company safe and Joe distracted enough that he never noticed them seemingly rising from the dead several times throughout the fight. The bullet holes and bloodstains might be more difficult to explain later but they would figure something out. 

By the end of it they’d cornered Merrick in the bottom of some basement lab, his personal army of body guards dead, Kozak bleeding out from a sword to the gut a few feet away. 

“You stupid Bitch,” Merrick hissed at Andy even as his gun was pointed squarely at Joe, clearly recognizing the threat of violence against anyone other than Joe or Copley wasn’t going to keep them at bay. “We could have changed the world.”

“Andy, we need to end this now, we’ve already made a lot of noise, police will probably show up soon,” Booker was right, they needed to move. 

Merrick must had recognized that he wasn’t going to get anywhere and decided he would take one of them down with him, he managed to get off one shot before Nile put a bullet between his eyes. 

She heard Nicky cry out and a body hit the ground, but she’d been so focused on Merrick she assumed Nicky had just been clipped. When she looked over though it wasn’t Nicky on the ground, it was Joe who had taken a bullet to the chest and wasn’t moving. 

Nicky was curled over Joe’s body, shaking the other man as though he could wake him and crying out in a language she couldn’t understand, but she’d seen enough grief to know what he was saying even if she didn’t understand the words.

No one had been expecting the sharp gasp of breath that came from Joe and the way he jerked upright suddenly. “Shit, how the fuck does a chest wound hurt more then a head shot,” Joe wheezed out as the others looked on bewildered. Joe looked at everyone, a little smile in his face, “look, like I’m really sorry you had to find out that way, but I just wasn’t sure you were all like me until I saw you each go down a few times,” ok clearly they had not been as careful around Joe as they thought. 

“How? We dream of each other, how could we have missed this?” That was Booker this time. 

“We didn’t,” Nicky responded, eyes wide and hopeful in a way Nile couldn’t quiet read. “We just assumed they were old memories. You only died once before right? Headshot four years ago?”

Joe modded, “I was 24 in Afghanistan. I saw you all die a few times over the years, brushed them off as nightmares mostly until today.”

Nicky just shook his head, “I assumed it was a memory, from before....” his voice trailed off, why Nile couldn’t be completely certain, the others hadn’t yet told her much about their past beyond when and how they originally died. 

Andy steps over, clearly making the decision that they couldn’t linger here any longer and they would address this later , and holds a hand out to Joe to help him up, “we’ll figure this out at the safe house, time to leave.”

Nile couldn’t help but feel like whatever conversation they did have was going to be even more confusing than everything she had dealt with so far.


	5. Chapter 5

“Memory wipe?”

“Unlikely, he’s visibly younger than when Joe died.”

“Cloning?”

“I think the distant relative thing might be more likely, but according to Copley, unless his past research on all of us is completely off, our Joe’s family line had died off sometime around 1500. “

“Reincarnation?”

“Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen to us,” Andy muttered. 

They’d made it to the safe house quickly enough, Copley had splintered off to handle cleanup and at this point Booker, Andy and Nicky were all sitting around the kitchen table while Joe and Nile used the two showers in the house, speculating exactly what was going on. 

Nicky hadn’t spoken yet or offered much in the way of opinions, but Booker and Andy had been debating the topic for the last fifteen minutes or so. 

“More likely it’s just coincidence, look a likes happen all the time, even when they’re not related by blood,” Andy, ever the pragmatist. 

“That’s an awfully big coincidence that he turns out to be immortal too then,” Booker was surprisingly the one arguing for fate and destiny this time around. “You’ve been quiet Nicky.”

“Hmmmm,” Nicky hummed in response, “just thinking.” Booker was right though, Joe’s appearance, his immortality, the way Nicky could no longer hear his Joe’s voice running through his head, it seemed unlikely to be just a coincidence. Or perhaps they’d all finally gone mad and were just seeing what the wanted to see. 

Andy’s eyes were soft when she looked at Nicky, but the words that follow cut deep and drew a sharp flinch from Nicky. “He’s not our Joe. No matter how much we want him to be and no matter what this really is he’s different. Grew up different, experienced a different life, had family and friends who are still alive. Even if this is some sort of strange miracle he won’t be the same, and he won’t remember us.”

Nicky knew that, of course he did, but it didn’t make it any less painful to hear it aloud. “That doesn’t change anything, he’s family now, no matter how he ended up here or who he ends up being.”

“And we know that Nicky, but be careful. Hoping for a miracle to make everything right never ends well,” and Andy would know, better than most.

Had Nicky had anything to say to that -he didn’t - he wouldn’t have had time enough to get it out as Joe had finally finished in the shower and made his way into the kitchen, dressed in a pair of Nicky’s sweatpants and a t-shirt borrowed from Booker, his hair still damp. The sight of him had all logic flying out the window and Nicky felt something warm unfurl in his chest as Joe grabbed a cup of tea and sat down next to Nicky at the table, edging his chair over until they were almost pressed up against each other’s sides. 

“So, I guess I should be asking what comes next now that we’ve all found each other?” Nicky had to very pointedly remind himself that Joe did not mean that question in the context that Nicky so desperately wanted him to. This homecoming meant far less for Joe than it did for them. He didn’t know their past, couldn’t possibly know what him suddenly showing up meant for all of them. It was the sweetest torture Nicky had known in many years, having Joe at his side again even though he knew it wasn’t really his Yusuf. 

“You being around isn’t exactly going to make things easier,” Nile had just entered the room as well and poured her own cup of coffee before taking the seat between Booker and Andy, opposite of Nicky. “What with being famous and all.”

Joe just made a face, “I’m not famous.”

“You dated Ronan Farrow,” Nile’s response was completely deadpan. 

“First off, no,” Joe responded pointing a finger at Nile, “that is an absurd and completely untrue rumor, Ronan is a fellow journalist who I have worked with on occasion and is very happily engaged. And if I’m anything it’s more like famous adjacent.”

“You have a Wikipedia page.”

“With like five pieces of information in it that are actually true. It claims I was born in Jersey,” the face of disgust he made was completely lost on all of them save for Nile who just laughed. “I was born in Tunisia and my parents moved to New York when I was an infant.”

“She’s right, you haven’t exactly kept a low profile,” Andy commented, a tiny bit of judgment bleeding through into her voice. “And we’ve already got the task of getting Nile up to speed on everything, dealing with sweeping you out of the spotlight isn’t going to be as easy as changing a few records to list Nile as KIA was.”

Joe looked a little sheepish at that. “In my defense, I was twenty-three when I broke the big story that sort of out me on the map, it would be another year before my brains were blown out in the sand and I figured out I actually had something to hide. Since then I’ve been trying to keep a lower profile. Stopped working for any of the major networks and only work freelance, left the states and jump from city to city each year. I’ve done everything I can to make it so that I’m nothing more than a byline in an article. I figured in a few years when it had become really obvious I wasn’t aging I’d just fake my death and then go hide out somewhere for a few decades until everyone forgot about me.”

“Any family?” Asked Booker. 

Joe just shook his head, “mom died when I was a kid, dad when I was sixteen. I was an only child and they had left all their family behind when they had left Tunisia. If there’s anyone left out there I’ve never met them.”

“Anyone out there who would have filed a missing persons report when Merrick took you?” Andy again. 

“My editor,” Joe responded. “She knew what I was working on and how dangerous it was, we had daily check ins and if she couldn’t get a hold of me for 24 hours she was supposed to go to the police.”

“You think Copley can make it seem like Joe died in whatever explanation he’s building up for the massacre at the labs?” Andy asked turning to Booker. 

“Probably,” Booker shrugged. “He’ll have to lay low for a year or two at least though.”

“Look, just dump me someplace remote, warm and sunny with decent access to some art supplies and a library and I’ll be fine for a while,” Joe said. “I wouldn’t want to hold you up from whatever it is you all do.”

“We’re not leaving you alone,” Nicky surprised himself a bit by speaking up. He meant it too, his Joe or not, he wasn’t going to leave this man on his own and risk something horrific happening to him. He’d failed to keep his promise and follow Joe into the afterlife, he wouldn’t fail again by leaving their newest member unprotected. 

“Some time off might be nice after everything,” Nile mentioned. “We could still take missions as Copley finds them but take them in shifts so someone is with Joe.”

“I’m not a child, I can fend for myself, have been for years,” Joe grumbled. 

“And that landed you right in the middle of a lab about to be turned into a science experiment so I’m sure you were doing a fantastic job,” Andy responded rolling her eyes. 

“Same thing happened to Nicky,” Joe mumbled under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching down in his chair in a way that was so utterly petulant that Nicky had to bite back laughter. “Well, if you’re going to all be playing baby sitter for me where are we going?”

“Malta,” Nicky found himself saying before anyone could bring up any other ideas. He pointedly ignored Booker’s raised eyebrows and Andy’s concerned stare as he continued on. “I have a house there, Joe and I can stay there for a while and the rest of you can go on missions and stop in to check on us every few months.”

This was a very, very bad idea that would probably end in heartbreak, but Nicky did need to rest and maybe, just maybe the sun and warm sea air would help him sort out his thoughts. At the very least he would get to know the man who was wearing the face of his dead lover. 

“That’s a brilliant idea,” Joe’s enthusiasm regarding the idea of spending lord knows how many years on an island retreat should have been the first clue for Nicky that something was afoot. 

Unfortunately Nicky had always been a sucker that smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Nicky hadn’t been back to the cottage in Malta since before Joe’s death. He’d paid a local family to keep the house up, had it cleaned periodically and cared for under the guise of being some wealthy family’s rarely used vacation home. 

He hadn’t exactly been sure what to expect, but it hadn’t been this. 

“Oh Nicky it’s gorgeous,” clearly Joe was just as surprised as Nicky was by the state of the cottage if the awed tone was anything to go by. 

The little cottage had been up on a cliff face and while it was small, it was secluded and offered a splendid view of the Mediterranean from the its wide veranda. 

The family that had been caring for it must have done a few updates over the years, the decor was light and airy, mostly pale blues and splashes of white, but also very modern. All of the appliances relatively new as well. He had, before bringing Joe here, sent word ahead but that had only been about a month not near enough time to make all these changes so they must have been using the money Nicky provided, and it had been a substantial sum, to thoroughly modernize the cottage as well over the course of the last several years. There had even been a bottle of champagne and freshly baked bread waiting for them on their arrival also. 

He’d also specifically asked not to be disturbed, mentioned that they would be staying for a while and wouldn’t need anyone to watch over the property. He’d still pay the family of course, he wouldn’t deprive them of the income they’d likely come to expect from watching the cottage, but he’d done what he could to make it fairly clear he did not want anyone else in the property in the politest way possible. 

The first few weeks had them trying to find some sort of rhythm, Joe trying to learn as much as he could about his new found family through Nicky’s stories and Nicky trying to share all that he could while skirting around a very specific former immortals presence in those stories. 

Eventually things leveled out into a sort of pattern. They were both early risers, Joe usually going out for a run in the beach at sunrise, Nicky putting himself through a series of drills and footwork with his broadsword to keep his skills sharp. They’d share breakfast in the veranda, usually something light with coffee or tea, and swap stories from their lives. Most of it was Joe pressing Nicky for details from historical events or marveling at all that Nicky had seen over the years, but Nicky pushed Joe to provide some details about himself as well. This Joe was just as fearsome and strong willed as his had been, but there was an undercurrent of softness and an optimism that was refreshing as a result of growing up in the modern world and not being so weighed down by centuries of war. Nicky could tell he was starting to fall in love again and he couldn’t help but hate himself for it. 

Following breakfast they would occasionally go out to pick up groceries or run other errands, but more often than not they usually remained on the veranda, Joe sketching or writing while Nicky read, both of them enjoying the companionable silence. Lunch is generally an after thought, both of them losing track of time before finally remembering to make a sandwich or grab a snack late in the afternoon. Joe convinces Nicky a few times to have a picnic on the beach, every time it ends with both of them laughing and playing in the sea water like children, drenched and a little chilled but happy. 

They take turns making dinner. Nicky has an entire rolodex of recipes living in his brain after nearly ten centuries on this earth and Joe is a fantastic cook. It ultimately leads to an unspoken competition to see who can make the most elaborate meals. Nicky wins, but just barely. 

Evenings are spent inside, talking, reading, occasionally watching a football match on the tiny tv they own. 

It’s nice and Nicky feels the lightest he has in over three decades. 

It last four months before things start to take a noticeable turn. 

It was subtle at first, Joe’s touches lingered a bit more, his questions were a bit more personal. It took almost another month for Nicky to begin to see what was happening. 

Then Joe started coming to breakfast straight from his run, not bothering to shower or change, usually wearing a tank top that hung loosely on his frame, showing off his toned arms and shorts that were just the right side of too short. 

One day he wanders out of the shower post breakfast in nothing more than a towel making an excuse about forgetting a change of clothes before ducking into his room while Nicky stares down the hall after him. 

It had been so long since Nicky had wanted someone so desperately. Joe was stunning and it was hard not to feel the pull of attraction given his history, but he still despised himself for it. The idea that he could simply replace the love of his life just because someone looked like him and shared a few personality traits. 

Still, Nicky hadn’t been expecting Joe’s patience with Nicky to wear out and that the other man would take matters into his own hands. 

Mornings had grown a bit chillier, never cold particularly for an immortal who had experience life in every climate or someone who had grown up in the harsh winters of New York City, and Joe had started to add some Yoga into his routine following his runs, usually setting up on the on the veranda, the cottage offering some shelter from and harsh winds rising off the sea.

Over the last week they had started to take breakfast in the kitchen, but it had been warm today and Nicky had started to set out their meal while Joe was just finishing his workout. 

Joe hadn’t worm a shirt this morning and was going through a series of poses that were very clearly chosen to show off his body as much as possible. Nicky couldn’t help but be reminded of times long passed in this very cottage where his Joe had engaged in similar antics, usually in a bid to catch Nicky’s attention of entice him back into bed. It was a little jarring but also strangely calming and familiar for Nicky. 

It was also nearly impossible for Nicky to fight back his instincts with how he should behave, even after 30 years, and he found himself placing a soft hand on Joe’s back to catch his attention, “breakfast is ready,” before turning and taking his seat at the table. 

The touch had been largely innocent, but he and Joe had been dancing around each other for weeks and, despite Nicky’s best efforts, he knew he had been sending mixed signals so it shouldn’t have been surprising when Joe took the touch to mean something more. 

Nicky hadn’t been prepared for the way Joe had strode over to him and, before Nicky could even react, sat across Nicky’s lap, legs bracketing his hips, and his hands coming up to pull Nicky into a gentle kiss. 

Muscle memory immediately kicked in and Nicky practically melted into the kiss just as he had a million times before. The similarities in the way this Joe and his kissed were striking. Both were aggressive, setting a fast pace and making the kiss just a little bit dirtier than would ever be appropriate in public, but they weren’t possessive or suffocating and it was clear from the moment their lips touched that no matter who had instigated the kiss, Nicky was ultimately the one running the show and they would speed up or slow down to suit him. 

And no matter how hard it was right now, Nicky needed to use that to stop this in its tracks, where this was going wasn’t fair to him and it certainly wasn’t fair to Joe. 

He was as gentle about it as he could be, a hand on Joe’s chest, pushing him back just a enough to end the kiss and give him room to speak, ignoring the soft whine of protest that he let out. “Joe, stop.”

Nicky could tell the moment his words had settled in by the way Joe went stiff and suddenly he was off Nicky, hand covering his mouth and a look of horror on his face has he backed away. “Nicky I am so sorry, I misread everything, I shouldn’t have.... you were married... and you’ve never been anything more than kind....I don’t know how I could be so stupid.”

Nicky stood quickly, grabbing on of Joe’s wrists and halting his retreat, “no, it’s not....” why did it seem like his words were so intent on failing him when he needed them most. Nicky took a long calming breath before trying to start again, “you didn’t misread anything, I just haven’t been as honest with you about my past, our family’s past as I should have been.” 

He pulled Joe over, motioning that he should sit down, Nicky pulling his own chair closer but keeping a hold of Joe’s hand. 

“I need to tell you about my husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I must have emotionally scarred like all my readers cause several people were very concerned that something terrible was going to happen when I mentioned something was “afoot” last chapter.
> 
> Meanwhile I’m just sitting over here referring to how thirsty modern Joe is for Nicky.


	7. Chapter 7

Nicky isn’t certain how to start so instead he starts at the beginning. “Remember how I told you I died in the crusades?” A nod from Joe.“I didn’t die alone that day, there was another immortal, Yusuf, fighting and we killed each other.We fought and killed more times than I could possibly dream to count until eventually it was too much. Yusuf was the first to throw down his sword and offer a truce. After all, if neither of us could die there wasn’t much point in continuing to kill each other over and over again.”

Nicky could remember that day so well he could almost see it. Joe standing over him, clothes torn and bloodied, holding out a hand to Nicky. It had been the first step towards something more, something all consuming. 

“He was your husband,” of course Joe would put together the pieces, clever,brilliant Joe could read Nicky’s face in an instant and know exactly what he was thinking. 

“The love of my life was someone I’d been taught to hate,” Nicky responded. “We started as travel companions,then friends and eventually lovers. We had centuries by each other’s side and once Andy and Quynh found us we had a family.”

“But something happened?”

Nicky could feel the sad smile forming in his face, “you remember how we told you about Lykon, how our immortality can fade,” a nod from Joe. “Thirty Years ago Yusuf’s did, in the middle of a mission. He died in my arms.”Nicky had never told this story aloud, had never needed to when Andy and Booker had been present for it and he hadn’t felt the need to share it with Nile, had let Andy explain what had happened with both Joe and Lykon.

“Nicky, I’m so sorry, god I’m such an idiot, thirty years is the blink of an eye for you, you’ve barely had time to grieve,” Joe tried to pull his hand back, likely to move away and give Nicky space but Nicky held him fast, looking up from where he had been starting at their hands to look Joe squarely in the eye. 

“That’s not all of it.”Nicky released Joe’s hand for a moment, pulling a photo from his pocket. He hadn’t had any pictures before, it had been to risky, but he’d stolen this one from Copley. It had been taken during one of the great wars, Joe holding a child’s hand, leading them out of the carnage of a destroyed village.Joe was staring up at the camera, a small smile on his face.Nicky looked down at the photo, thumb brushing along the edge before handing it over to Joe. “His name was Yusuf Al- Kaysani, but we started calling him Joe in the early 1900’s.”

“How is this possible,” Joe murmured after several moments once the shock had passed. 

“The resemblance is striking, I know.”

“Nicky, it’s not a resemblance, we are nearly identical, if my first time dying had been just a few years later you wouldn’t even be able to tell us apart if we were standing next to each other.”

And Nicky did have to admit Joe was right when he held up the picture beside his face.“We thought you might be related but Copley confirmed Joe’s family line died off in the 1500’s. Andy seems to think it might just be a coincidence.”

“Big fucking coincidence an immortal who looks just like me dies right around the same time I was born.”

“Booker has some theories, each one a little more far fetched than the other but I think he might be leaning towards reincarnation,” Nicky commented as he took the photo from Joe, placing it carefully back in his shirt pocket.“He seems to be of a mind that Joe, my Joe, is just too stubborn to stay dead while I still walk the earth and you’re his soul’s way of clawing itself back to my side.”

“And what do you think,” Joe asked, this time he was the one to reach out, to take Nicky’s hand in his. 

“I don’t know,” Nicky answered as honestly as he could, “but I do know it is unfair of me to try to make you fill the gap he left.”

“It’s unfair to you also, I shouldn’t have kissed you Nicky.”

“You didn’t know,” Nicky started to say but Joe cut him off. 

“I knew you had lost someone though, I didn’t know the circumstances, I didn’t know about...” he paused trying to find the words and instead just gesturing to himself, “I didn’t know what this meant but I knew enough. You deserve more than flirting and games Nicky, I should have talked to you!”

“We’re talking now,” Nicky soothed. He hated seeing Joe upset, would do everything he could to calm him but his next words were interrupted by his burner phone ringing from where it had been placed on the table next to their breakfast.Only four people had access to this number, and they would only be calling in an emergency. 

“Yes,” he wasn’t sure who or what he was going to get on the other side of the line. 

“We need your help,” it was Booker who had called but he could hear Andy and Nile speaking in the background, voices rising in a heated argument and he heard a brief fumble for the phone before a new voice, Andy, was talking to Nicky. 

“The mission has gone to shit and we need you and Joe to come in.”

“Joe is still in hiding and I’m hardly going to leave him alone here.” 

“Nicky we don’t have any other options.It’s a human trafficking ring, we’ve got no way in with the inner circle and Joe might be able to help.”

“Find another option, I’m not putting him at risk.”

“Nicky listen to me,” she snapped. “It’s a straightforward honeypot mission, in and out and shouldn’t be even the slightest bit difficult for someone like Joe.”

“Find someone else,” Nicky found himself snarling.

“Look the ringleader likes dark haired young men, Joe is the only person we have that fits the bill.”

“Then dye Booker’s hair.We agreed that we’d let this be for at least a few years, that we weren’t going to pull him into our insanity right away.”

“Nicky you don’t get it, this pig likes his men  _exotic,_ ” the way she practically spit out the last word made it painfully clear to Nicky that she had not been the one to select that particular label. 

“Nicky, give me the phone,” Joe cut in, holding his hand out. “This is obviously about me so let me talk to Andy.”

Nicky was reticent to give Joe the phone, knew at the end of it Andy would convince Joe to go along with whatever mad scheme it was she had planned, but he also couldn’t refuse Joe anything so he passed the phone over. 

He watched as Joe listened for a few moments, offering a few noises of assent from time to time before he finally spoke. “Nicky stays with me the entire time.”Andy must have agreed because the next thing he knew Joe was asking for flight details and meeting locations before snapping the burner phone shut. 

“We’ve got six hours.”


	8. Chapter 8

Less than twenty four hours later Nicky arrived at the club ten minutes before Joe was set to get there, finding a seat at the bar and making a passing comment to the bartender that he was waiting for someone so that him remaining seated at the bar for a while would not seem out of place. 

Their target was Mark Rumsfeld, 42, the owner of the club and a US ex-pat who was involved in some less than savory business deals involving the purchase and sale of human flesh. Nicky hates dealing with those involved in human trafficking, it was a disgusting and loathsome trade and whenever they had missions involving them Nicky usually dispatched the parties involved with extreme prejudice. It wasn’t that he went out of his way to make their deaths violent and painful, it was more that he never felt particularly inclined to show any mercy. 

But now, now he just wanted to get as far away from this mission as possible. More precisely he wanted to get Joe as far away from this mission as possible. Nicky wasn’t one to balk at a mission, and logically he knew that the risk of Joe being in actual mortal peril with his immortality being so new was slim, but that doesn’t mean he liked the idea of just throwing Joe into the deep end immediately. They’d done that to Nile, not exactly by choice, and even though she had taken to the experience just fine, Nicky still felt a sense of guilt that she hadn’t been given a chance to acclimate to their lifestyle for at least a short while. 

Or that was what he told himself when he thought about how vehemently he had opposed their involvement in this mission at the outset. In reality his concerns were much more deeply rooted in his own fears. Lykon and Joe had both shown that there was no real rhyme or reason to when their immortality ran out, simply that when it was their time, when they had served their purpose, they could be snatched from this world. 

Nicky worried about what would happen when Joe got a taste for these missions, that he wouldn’t be able to stop. Joe’s never ending drive to be a force for good in the world would push him to take mission after mission no matter what the danger so long as he felt he was helping someone. What happened if the clock ran out for Joe faster than it ever had for any of them prior to this? No matter what he and Joe ended up meaning to each other in the long term, no matter who Joe was - reincarnation, clone, pure cosmic fluke - Nicky was certain that the loss of the other man would shatter him this time.

As though summoned by Nicky’s dark thoughts, Joe made his first appearance, sliding up to the bar, careful to keep a few empty chairs between himself and Nicky so as to make it apparent they were not here together, only sparing a moments glance towards Nicky before leaning against the bar to order and flirt outrageously with the bartender. 

Nicky let his eyes linger for a moment, appreciating the hard work Joe and Nile had put in to make Joe seem as alluring as possible. The black shirt he was wearing clung in all the right ways and was just a little bit see through offering teasing glimpses of Joe’s form as he moved and the dark jeans clung to his ass perfectly.

Nicky wasn’t the only one who noticed Joe, from where he was seated he had a clear view of the VIP lounge and could see the way Rumsfeld was blatantly staring. The bait was set, now all they had to do was wait. 

Unfortunately there were more than a few others here who had decided to make their appreciation of Joe’s looks known. Nicky spotted the burly man approaching from the left a few moments before he crowded Joe up against the bar. 

Joe, to his credit, didn’t react much to the other man invading his personal space, simply turning a little from where he had been chatting with the bartender and glancing up at the other man. “Can I help you,” he drawled. His voice was steady and even but Nicky could clearly hear the threat of violence under his words. 

That was of course completely lost on the other man who just crowded more into Joe’s space, pressing himself against Joe, one hand coming down to take a hold of Joe’s wrist, trapping it against the bar top, “what’s a sweet thing like you doing in a place like this.”

Joe wasn’t exactly about to blow his cover, not when he was supposed to be filling the role of the sweet, helpless little honeypot, but Nicky had no such qualms about making some very abrupt changes to their plan of attack. After all, making it look like Joe had a boyfriend wouldn’t necessarily be a deterrent for Rumsfeld as the man had shown a propensity for taking whatever he wanted regardless of the circumstances or that persons current relationship status. 

Nicky was at Joe’s side in seconds, twisting the other mans arm back at an unnatural angel, forcing him to his knees. “I don’t think your touch is particularly welcome my friend,” the man tried to stand, to put up some sort of fight, but Nicky just twisted harder. “I might recommend you leave, now,” before releasing the man, allowing him to curl around his arm and what was, at the very least, a severely sprained wrist. 

Nicky had been a bit distracted by the situation at hand so he hadn’t noticed that Rumsfeld had left the VIP lounge until he was speaking directly to them. 

“Gentlemen I must apologies for some of our guests manners,” a short glare had the man on the ground picking himself up and fleeing the club. “Allow me to make it up to you.”

Nicky ignored Rumsfeld for a moment to make a show of crowding into Joe and checking him over all the while silently begging Joe with his eyes to catch on as to what he was doing. 

Thankfully Joe was fairly quick on the uptake and went with it by leaning a little more heavily into Nicky one hand reaching back, twisting in the fabric of Nicky’s shirt near the base of his spine, the other coming up to rest over Nicky’s heart, “that’s very kind of you Mr....”

“Please, call me Mark.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Joe all but purred, “I’m Joseph and this is my boyfriend, Nicholas.” Nicky had to marvel a little at the facade Joe was putting on. By his posture and tone you never would have known how uncomfortable he was with the way the other man was staring at him. Nicky only knew because the way Joe’s first was clenched on the back of his shirt, hidden from view between Nicky and the bar top. 

“No, the pleasure is all mine,” Nicky certainly didn’t care for the way his eyes lingered on both of them. “I must insist though, join me in the VIP lounge, as an apology.”

And there it was, hook, line and sinker.


	9. Chapter 9

Nicky had read through the file on Rumsfeld, knew each and every one of the man’s proclivities and idiosyncrasies. 

What he hadn’t been prepared for was just how much of a bore the man would be. 

They’d been up in the VIP lounge for an hour, Rumsfeld seated across from them. Joe had tucked himself into Nicky’s side carrying much of the conversation, allowing Nicky to settle into the role of the stoic, silent one while Joe played the bubbly flirty one. It also suited their needs well. Joe’s cover as a graduate student studying for a semester abroad was thoroughly built out with documents and records to back up his story. Hell, they’d even built a fake Instagram for him with fake friends and followers. Nicky’s cover was much more limited as they hadn’t thought he would be playing a central role in this mission. The less he spoke and the less detail he provided the less likely Rumsfeld and his men would be able to find a gaps in Nicky’s story. 

Rumsfeld seemed inclined to mostly talk of parties and drop names as Joe played at being impressed. Nicky meanwhile let his eyes and mind wander between identifying all of the body guards Rumsfeld had, 15 in total with ten plainly obvious and staying close while another five attempted to blend into the crowd in the club, and being distracted by Joe’s wandering hands as he worked to sell their relationship. 

“You two are utterly delightful, I must know how you met,” ah it appears Rumsfeld had finally decided to stop talking about himself. 

“It’s nothing special,” Joe murmured, turning to lock eyes with Nicky, eyes wide and adoring, selling the character he was playing brilliantly. 

“You undersell it darling,” Nicky commented, a soft kiss on Joe’s cheek for effect. 

“Our friends set us up,” good, Joe was going with an easy story, something with minimal detail and little background. Nicky feels as though he should be less surprised by how good Joe was at this and how quickly he adapted to the mission. “We hated each other at first.”

“Hate might be a strong word, I distinctly remember being attracted to you rather quickly,” Nicky protested. 

“I said we hated each other, that doesn’t mean we didn’t want to fuck each other the moment we met,” Joe returned. 

“I won him over given a little time,” Nicky turned his gaze towards Rumsfeld, a small smirk on his lips. 

“He’s very good in bed, it makes up for the personality,” Joe’s joke had Rumsfeld throwing his head back laughing loudly. 

“This has been wonderful,” Rumsfeld moved to stand up now, “but I must be going business to attend to.”

“We should be leaving as well,” Nicky stood pulling Joe with him, “you have class tomorrow.”

Joe pouted for show but didn’t protest. 

“I’d love to have you both for lunch tomorrow, there is this wonderful cafe I think you’ll find very charming, shall I pick you up at noon?”

They agreed readily enough, Joe rattling off the address to the small flat they had rented as a part of his cover before they said their final good byes, stepping out into the chilly night air to walk home. 

They’d made it just a block or two when Nicky noticed they were being followed. Not terribly surprising but more than a little annoying. He slipped an arm around Joe’s waist, pulling them so they were walking side by side, leaning in to speak directly into Joe’s ear, “we have a tag along.”

Joe in turn stopped their progress, twisting in Nicky’s arms, one hand going back behind Nicky’s neck to pull him in, lips brushing against each other, “I know, two men up ahead, black leather jacket and blue baseball cap, one behind in a black suit.” 

Impressive, Nicky actually hadn’t spotted the two ahead of them yet. 

Nicky pushes Joe back a bit, pressing him up against the wall of the storefront they had stopped in front of, to any outside observer looking like two lovers completely absorbed with each other. 

“You’re very good at this you know.”

“Not the first time I’ve been tailed and not the first time I’ve had to pretend to be who I’m not to get something,” right, for a moment there Nicky had almost forgotten this was make believe, it had been nice. 

Joe must have seen how his comment was taken because his eyes softened a bit, “I didn’t mean it like that Nicky, I think I made my feelings for you painfully clear in Malta and we do still need to finish talking about that.”

“I know,” Nicky responded before quickly changing the subject. “They’ll have bugged the flat by the time we get back,” he shifted a bit, mouth next to Joe’s ear so it looked more like they were making out than organizing battle plans. “We won’t be able to talk freely there.”

“They’ll probably set up some cameras too so we’ll have to keep the act, will you be ok with that, with everything?”

“We’ll manage,” Nicky grunted our before stepping away, holding a hand out to Joe. “Shall we?”

—

The walk took about twenty minutes and when they reached the flat it had been thoroughly bugged in every room, even the bathroom. 

Had it just been him he probably wouldn’t have cared, but the idea of Rumsfeld invading Joe’s privacy like this set him on edge. 

Still they did what they had to, preparing for bed, kissing and touching each other as they moved around like lovers would, settling into the bed together, Joe tucking himself up behind nicky, arm thrown casually across his waist. 

It was all for show, but the familiarity of it all made Nicky’s heart ache. 

For better or worse, this mission was going to change something between them. 

Nicky of course could have never predicted just how much it would change.


	10. Chapter 10

Nicky woke up a few hours later when Joe jolted awake beside him, pulling away from where he had curled himself around Nicky to press himself against the wall, breath labored and far too fast. 

“Joe?” Nicky was up in an instant, eyes frantically roaming, checking the man over trying to figure out what was wrong, hands hovering, unsure if his touch would be welcome. 

Joe made the decision for him, leaning forward to press his forehead to Nicky’s. “I’m fine, just a dream,” each word was carefully chosen and intentionally vague. Even now Joe was conscious of those listening in on them. 

Luckily Nicky recognized the bugs used by Rumsfeld’s men. They were cheaply made and poorly placed, if they kept their voices low they would never pick up on their discussion. He told Joe as much in a hushed tone and then waited for the other man to elaborate on the dream. 

Joe let out a shuddering breath, “it felt so real, more like a memory than a dream.”

Nicky’s mind was racing to try to sort out what it could have been, one of their deaths maybe, had something happened to the others and only Joe had dreamt of it or was he remembering something else, Quynh perhaps. Both Nile and Booker had been tormented by dreams of Quynh as they had never met her, but Joe had up to this point never mentioned any dreams about her. 

It wasn’t until the light from a passing car shown through their window revealing the bright blush on Joe’s cheeks that it clicked for Nicky. So it was that sort of dream. 

“It was the house in Malta but different, older, less modern,” Joe’s eyes fluttered shut as he tried to remember everything, to find the right words. “You were there and so was I, or at least it felt like me but it was different, I moved different, acted different. Older, more graceful in how we moved around each other, like we had centuries of familiarity to build on.”

Nicky found himself clinging to every word, his mind beginning to paint the picture for him of the last time he had Joe had been in Malta together. 

“I, we....” Joe was stumbling over his words but continued on despite his discomfort, as though something was driving him to finish telling Nicky what he had seen. “We slept together it was....enthusiastic. It felt....right somehow,” more fumbling with his words before finding his footing again, “I’m not like inexperienced, but um....I’ve never exactly been tied up and it was.....nice.”

That last part hit Nicky like a set of bricks. That hadn’t been just a dream, what Joe had seen had been real and it had happened in 1920. 

“Joe, what you just described wasn’t a dream, it was a memory, from before,” Nicky said when he finally found his voice. 

“I thought we stopped dreaming of each other when we finally met? How could I remember something from before I was born, something from the....” he trailed off, clearly unsure, “the other Joe.”

They did. Joe shouldn’t be able to have this memory, and Nicky felt some strange sense of hope begin to bloom in his chest. He knew it was foolish, but suddenly he found himself clinging to the idea that one of Booker’s insane theories might be right. “We do, at least usually we do, but nothing with you has been exactly normal so far so maybe this is different too.” That had Joe nodding along, Nicky was right after all, so many things with Joe so far had been slightly off, not following the same pattern it had for all of them, like how before meeting the only person he had ever dreamed about was Nicky and Nile, a pattern none of them had recognized until Nicky had started asking Joe about his dreams when they were in Malta and Joe was only able to recount those that featured Nicky and Nile, none that were just Booker or Andy on their own. He never dreamed of Quynh even now too. “You should rest, you actually do have class early tomorrow and we have to meet Rumsfeld, it will be an exhausting day all around.” They had enrolled Joe in a few courses at the local University and he would need to go for the sake of his cover.

“You know this would have been a whole lot easier if you’d just gone with my idea and made me a spoiled trust fund brat rather than a pseudo intellectual,” Joe settled down a bit, laying back in bed, pulling Nicky down with him so this time they were laying face to face. 

“You enjoy playing the intellectual admit it.”

Joe just hummed, throwing a leg over Nicky’s hip and closing his eyes, “and you enjoy pretending to be my boyfriend.”

Joe had him there. “You’re enjoying it too.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

—

Their morning was uneventful, Joe leaving for class with a soft kiss on Nicky’s cheek before Nicky left to meet with Andy and Nile at a local cafe. As they parted Nicky noticed a man breaking off from a group standing and chatting on the corner opposite of the flat, moving to follow Joe as he walked to class. 

Nicky had no doubt he was being followed as well, so he made sure to take a rather twisting route to the cafe and by the time he had arrived he had confirmed that he had shaken his tail off in a manner that was not excessively suspicious. 

“Nice of you to join us,” Andy commented when Nicky took a seat at the table, “having fun playing house.”

“You guys were really cute together,” Nile was of course completely oblivious to exactly what Joe meant to Nicky, but it was nice to hear nonetheless. 

“Yeah, real cute,” Nicky could almost hear Andy grinding her teeth. 

“It was effective, it got us where we needed to be and even better, now I can stick by Joe’s side as much as possible and serve as backup,” Nicky found himself offering up in defense of his intervention last night. 

“It was reckless,” Andy snapped. She wasn’t angry at Nicky for his actions last night, they’d had more than enough situations were they’d had to make snap judgements or change up their plans for her to get upset about something like that, but she was worried, likely regarding the emotional toll something like this could take on Nicky. 

“I can handle it,” Nicky tried to reassure her, it didn’t work particularly well, but she backed off a little so Nicky moved on. “The flat has been bugged and both Joe and I are being followed regularly so we’ll need to be careful on our end in terms of extracting information.”

“Booker has found a few things,” Nile slid a tea across the table to Nicky along with a blueberry scone. “He managed to get access into a few of Rumsfeld’s bank accounts.”

“It’s going to take time to unravel the web in terms of where the money is going to and coming from, but it’s a start,” Andy adds. “Copley thinks that if you or Joe can get a little bit of detail on some of the transfer sites that he can use his connections to put in a few anonymous tips to take Rumsfeld down without resorting to any of our usual tactics.”

“And you believe that will work?” Nicky asked. 

“Not really,” Andy responded with a shrug. “If it doesn’t or if Rumsfeld catches wind of something it could put you and Joe in a bit of a tight spot.”

“We’ll manage, I’ll keep him safe and he’ll watch my back,” Nicky believed it too, even more than ever before given this new, strange development with Joe’s dreams and memories. 

Silence settled between them for a few minutes as they ate before Nicky continued on. “Rumsfeld is set to meet us at noon, he’ll be picking both of us up from the flat.”

Nile glances down at her phone, “so you have about three hours, Joe gets out of class at 10?”

“Yes, which means I should be leaving so I’ll be there when he gets back, I don’t want to leave him on his own too long. Rumsfeld is unlikely to make a move or do Joe any harm when he’s trying to woo him, but I also don’t want to leave something like that to risk. We’re safer sticking together as a unit generally speaking, less likely for someone to get the drop on either of us if we are watching each other’s back. 

Nicky drained the last of his tea, standing to leave, only pausing for a moment to look at Andy, unsure of if he should be telling her this when it was still so recent and he wasn’t sure exactly what he was dealing with but he also felt like he couldn’t keep something like this from her, not when she’d mourned Joe almost as fiercely as he had. So instead he settled for something halfway between telling her everything and telling her nothing, “tell Booker I need him to do more follow up on his reincarnation theory. Dig into some of the philosophical and historical texts he was pursuing before Joe and I left after the whole Merrick debacle.” 

That had Andy’s head snapping up, eyes wide, “Nicky....”

“Just have him keep digging.”

Booker would find something, and in the mean time Joe and Nicky would keep trying to unravel what Joe’s dreams meant and what was going on between the two of them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basic warning for Rumsfeld’s general grossness and sleezyness. Nothing graphic happens in this chapter and I’ll add tags and warnings to the work if it ever does, but he’s just one of those people who sort of makes you feel icky if you listen to him talk too much.
> 
> Also fun reader question at the end, feel free to answer in the comments if you have thoughts or ideas!

Joe returned to their flat shortly after Nicky had, greeting Nicky at the door with a soft kiss on the cheek and quickly whispering that Rumsfeld’s men had followed him and were still watching. 

Nicky responded by pulling Joe in close and giving him a firmer kiss, this one on the lips and in full view of the open street. He told himself it was to fill a role, the continue to sell themselves to Rumsfeld’s men and give them something to take back to their employer, but that didn’t change how nice it felt to hold Joe in his arms again. “The others found a few leads, Andy and Nile are going to pursue them, while Booker will be our spotter this afternoon,” Nicky murmured into Joe’s ear keeping his voice low. 

Joe let out a giggle like Nicky had said something scandalous, but Nicky caught the almost imperceptible nod of his head. Joe understood and was prepared to do what they needed to. “Mark will be here soon and I need to change.”

Nicky placed a quick peck on Joe’s lips before pulling him through the open door and kicking it shut behind him. “Wear the black shirt of yours, you look good in it,” he said when the door was closed, talking loud enough that the bugs would pick his voice up clearly. 

“Look at you having me dress up for another man,” Joe teased. 

“I can enjoy the idea of another handsome man wanting what’s mine knowing you’re coming back to my bed each night,” it was an act of course, the idea of Rumsfeld even glancing Joe’s way made Nicky feel ill, but Rumsfeld seemed to be interested in them as a pair for some reason so he was going to lean into that. 

Rumsfeld arrived shortly after, flanked by two bodyguards, an ostentatious sports car waiting by the curb. 

“Gentlemen, so wonderful to see you again,” Rumsfeld leaned forward to plant a kiss on Joe’s cheek before greeting Nicky with a firm hand shake. “Please, join me, the bistro is much too far to walk,” he gestured towards the car. 

Joe had tried to get Rumsfeld to tell them where they were going, tried to pry it out of him as gently as he could but had been largely unsuccessful. It set Nicky on edge, but there wasn’t much they could do and Booker would follow behind, using the tracker they had in one of Joe’s shoes and the one sewn into Nicky’s jacket to determine where they were going and then set up somewhere nearby where he could have eyes on them while still remaining inconspicuous. 

They settled in the back of the car, leaving Rumsfeld to drive, a bit of a surprise given both of their past experiences with rich men and their unwillingness to do much of anything for themselves. Still not completely out of left field, Rumsfeld’s file had mentioned an affinity for cars. 

The drive was relatively short, maybe twenty minutes and when they arrived it appeared that Rumsfeld had led them to a small bistro that was nearly empty, just a young couple seated near the front and a few burly looking men at a table near the middle. Everyone in the restaurant clearly here at the behest of their employer. 

Rumsfeld led them to a table near the back and when Nicky took his seat he had a clear view of the cafe across the street, and watched as Booker sat down at one of the tables on the outside patio, smiling up at the waitress as she handed a coffee to him. Seeing Booker helped to calm some of the concern that had settled low in Nicky’s stomach. 

Joe sat down next to Nicky, Rumsfeld taking his place across the table from Nicky, his men stationing themselves just behind him on either side. 

“I am so pleased you both decided to join me today, especially on such a momentous day for my business ventures,” Rumsfeld said. Nicky was only half paying attention, eyes drawn to a commotion across the street, a small scuffle between a group of children who really should have been in school this time of day, that was blocking his view of Booker. Thankfully Joe was there to hold the conversation down. 

“It must be something wonderful to have you so pleased, or perhaps our company is what has you in such a lovely mood,” Joe all but purred. 

Rumsfeld regarded Joe for a moment, his gaze turning shrewd and starting to set off alarm bells in Nicky’s mind. “My god you are a brilliant actor, I almost forget you’re a journalist.”

The bodies blocking Booker from view cleared out, just in time for Nicky to hear a gunshot ring out and see Booker topple sideways out of his chair. 

“I’m sorry, did I say journalist, I meant student,” Rumsfeld struck before Nicky or Joe could even move, jamming a syringe into Joe’s neck.

Nicky was on his feet but he was just a hair too slow, the element of surprise allowing Rumsfeld and his men to get the upper hand. One of Rumsfeld’s bodyguards had pulled his gun and when Nicky looked down there was some sort of dart, tranquilizer his mind supplied, sticking out from his chest. 

He watched Joe collapse out of his chair, unconscious on the floor as the darkness started to creep in around the edges and his knees buckled, connecting painfully with the hardwood floor on the bistro next to where Joe had fallen. 

“Sleep tight boys,” he heard Rumsfeld say as unconsciousness took him, the last thing he saw before blacking out was Joe right there next to him. 

—

Nicky’s return to consciousness wasn’t pleasant in the slightest, the shock of being drenched with a bucket of dirty, cold water dragging him back awake. 

It took a moment for him to reorient himself and take stock of where he was, a dingy basement, maybe, or a warehouse perhaps. He was hanging for the ceiling, cuffed arms stretched out above him so he was dangling, toes just barely touching the ground. He searched frantically for a moment, only settling a bit when his eyes fell on Joe, hanging a few meters from him, still unconscious. 

“Welcome back Nicholas,” Nicky jerked his gaze away from Joe to Rumsfeld who was standing in front of him now, jacket removed, hanging over a chair behind him, as he was meticulously rolling up his sleeves. Two body guards were standing behind him near the door to the room. “I’ll assume that is not your actual name, but unfortunately I was unable to crack your identity at all so I should commend your employer for being so thorough.” 

Nicky just grunted in response, eyes searching the room for something they might be able to use to escape. He was barefoot and had been stripped of his jacked and so was Joe. He couldn’t be certain the tracker would lead the others to them so depending completely on a rescue wasn’t ideal. There wasn’t much to the room, cement walls, a single door and one air vent that was far too small to fit either of them. So limited options but also not the worst situation Nicky had ever found himself in before. Joe being present and needing to worry about getting another person out beyond just himself would complicate things but he could adjust, had adjusted in the past so this wasn’t new. 

Rumsfeld had continued droning on as Nicky made his assessment. “I have to admit that had I not been an associate of Merrick’s I would have been taken in by your little act, it’s all very impressive.” That had Nicky’s attention snapping back to Rumsfeld. “Ah, so you didn’t know, perhaps your employers aren’t as good as we thought. It was very hush hush overall, everything under the table and no traceable records that could tie our two organizations together so you mustn’t be too hard on yourselves for not making the connection.”

Rumsfeld stepped over in front of Joe, carefully assessing Joe’s unconscious form as he spoke. “Merrick employed me to collect certain individuals for his experiments. Homeless, vagabonds and runaways mostly. I was surprised when he asked me to collect a journalist. Merrick may have been a peacock but he was by no means a fool, he knew that taking someone in the public eye was dangerous. Still the money was substantial so I had some of my associates collect Joseph Jones and deliver him to Merrick. I was so disappointed I didn’t have a chance to play with him a bit myself, so handsome, it would have been fun to break him,” Rumsfeld gripped Joe’s chin, tilting his head from side to side, studying his features. 

Nicky jerked against his bonds, swinging ineffectually for a moment or two in his effort to strike out at Rumsfeld, “don’t touch him!”

“You’re protective of him, it’s a weak point for you,” Rumsfeld noted, releasing his grip on Joe and turning to face Nicky fully. “I was so disappointed when I had heard he had died, I had hoped that he might survive Merrick’s experiments and I might still have a chance at him, but alas it was not meant to be. Or so I had thought. Some contacts of mine had spotted him in Malta of all places months after his supposed death and in the company of one of the men who Merrick had captured previously according to a few of my contacts within his organization. It didn’t take much to plant a few seeds, entice your band of mercenaries out of hiding and place Joseph back in my orbit once more. You were an unwelcome complication but I feel we adapted well enough.”

So Rumsfeld knew more than he had let on, had been intimately tied to Merrick. How Copley had missed this Nicky couldn’t say, but at the very least he seemed to be generally unaware of their immortality. That wouldn’t last long given their current predicament and the torture that was sure to be coming, but at the very least that meant he likely didn’t know Booker was still alive out there somewhere. 

“So what’s your plan for us now?” Nicky found himself asking, trying to keep Rumsfeld talking as he continued to assess their situation and see if he might be able to come up with a plan. He shifted his wrists a little to see what leeway he might have in the cuffs. It was limited, but he could probably break his hands and get out. The recovery time would leave him vulnerable for a few moments and would be a dead giveaway on their enhanced healing, but it may be the only option.

Rumsfeld looked ready to start speaking again but whatever he had planned to say was interrupted by Joe jerking awake. 

“Nicolo,” his eyes were terrified as he searched around for Nicky and hearing Joe call him that had Nicky jerking against his bonds, straining to get closer to Joe even if all he could do was swing uselessly. 

Joe calmed when he finally locked eyes with Nicky, but there was something terrified and wild in his gaze that Nicky couldn’t exactly place, something he was fairly sure was the result of another dream, or rather another memory, surfacing once more. 

“So nice of you to join us Mr. Jones, now the real fun can begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am undecided on what the memory Joe just saw should be so I’m turning it over to recommendations from my lovely readers. If you have something specific you want it to be, or even a specific idea in something you want to see in the broader fic, let me know!
> 
> Otherwise, comments and kudos make me write faster so you know the drill *blows kiss*


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight violence warning. Nothing graphic but Nicky and Joe get beat up a bit.

Nicky watched helplessly as Rumsfeld stepped closer to Joe. 

“Back off asshole,” Joe growled out, trying to kick at Rumsfeld but the other man simply caught hold of his leg, bare foot in one hand, ankle in the other. 

“You were much more fun when you were playing the flirt,” Rumsfeld twisted Joe’s ankle sharply, the audible crack of bones snapping drowned out by Joe’s shocked scream. 

When Rumsfeld let his leg go Joe swung back and forth, broken ankle hanging uselessly for a moment or two. Nicky started shouting, loudly, at Rumsfeld, his voice covering up the sound of Joe’s bones snapping back into place. Joe in turn let his foot just sort of hang, placing all his weight on the toes of the leg Rumsfeld hadn’t touched to mask that his ankle was already healed. 

“So, what should we start with first.” 

—

“How did you miss this!” Nile edged a bit closer to Andy, the way she was shouting at Copley making her nervous. 

“Rumsfeld and Merrick’s ties were completely under the table, not a single record to connect the two of them in any way and Merrick certainly wasn’t about to share the details of those connections with me given my past in the CIA,” Copley defended himself. 

“This isn’t getting us anywhere, we need to find them,” Booker cut them both off. He hadn’t even bothered to wash the blood from the gunshot to the head he’d taken earlier - and hadn’t having to lie to a terrified waitress that he’d just fallen and hit his head and no he really didn’t need help, he needed to leave now, been a fun experience. “There was nothing at the bistro they had been taken from and by the time I came to they had already disappeared so whatever happened couldn’t have taken more than four or five minutes based on my usual recovery time for head shots. They must have had a getaway planned.”

“Which is why it’s probably a good thing that we had a few back up plans,” Copley pulled up a screen that showed three glowing dots, each one dispersed across several miles of map. 

“How can we be certain they didn’t just ditch the trackers?” Nile asked. “With them all spread out it looks like they found at least two of them. 

“This one was the tracker in Joe’s shoe,” Copley pointed to the glowing yellow dot that was maybe just a mile or two from where they had been taken. “This one was in Nicky’s jacket,” he pointed to the green dot. “And this one is where they are,” he pointed to the red dot that was by what appeared to be some old factory buildings. 

“How can you be so sure?” Booker asked, peering over Copley’s shoulder at the screen. “They could have ditched all three trackers and this is just a distraction.”

“Ah, yes I should have assumed he wouldn’t have mentioned it to you, that third tracker was implanted in Joe’s arm two days before he and Nicky left for Malta.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Nile’s voice was incredulous, “you microchipped him like someone would with a pet.”

“In my defense it was Joe’s idea and neither of us were even certain it would work and that his body wouldn’t just heal over and push the tracker back out,” Copley quickly defended himself. 

“Yeah well let’s just be glad it worked. We’re moving out in two minutes,” Andy commanded

—

It took forty-five minutes of beating them for Rumsfeld to begin to realize something was off. 

Forty-five minutes or trying to draw his attention elsewhere so he didn’t notice the cuts healing too fast, forty-five minutes of faking broken bones and screaming and shouting to mask the noise of them popping back into place. Forty-five minutes of watching the other man beat Joe and feeling completely helpless. 

At the end it was Rumsfeld losing his patience with them not telling him who they worked for and stabbing Nicky that was their undoing. 

Nicky not bleeding out from a stab wound to the chest might have been a dead giveaway that something odd was going on. 

Rumsfeld tugged Nicky’s short collar down, revealing the newly healed skin. Nicky did not care for the way his eyes lit up with fascination. 

“Well this is unexpected. Merrick has been babbling about some major break through that could cure all the ills of the world months again but I hadn’t thought he’d actually been serious.” Rumsfeld turned his eyes to Joe, “are you like this one too?”

Joe didn’t bother responding, just bared his teeth in a snarl and kicked out at the man again, no point in faking a wounded leg any longer. 

Rumsfeld just dodged around his kick, getting in close and tugging his shirt up, drawing the knife across Joe’s abdomen to create a shallow cut that healed almost instantly. 

“Fascinating,” Rumsfeld looked up at Joe, eyes bright. “Oh the fun I’m going to have with you darling.”

Whatever else might have been said was cut short by the sounds of gunshots coming from above. 

“Looks like the cavalry may have just arrived,” Joe spat at Rumsfeld.

Rumsfeld turned to look at his men and snapped at them, “deal with it.” The men exited the room in a hurry, weapons drawn. 

And now it was just Nicky, Joe and Rumsfeld. Nicky started to swing a little bit, just a tiny bit, barely noticeable movement, but it jangled the chains a bit, just enough noise to mask the sound of the bones in his hands breaking as he began to pull down on his restraint, trying to break them enough so he could slip through.

Rumsfeld stepped back over to his jacket, pulling another syringe out, surely another round of sedatives to knock them out. “You’re coming with me,” he pointed to Joe and Nicky felt panic set in as he started to tug harder at the restraints, now abandoning any semblance of trying to hide what he was doing as the terror of being separated from Joe again set in. 

Luckily for him, Joe was also not about to go quietly. He kicked out, this time finding his mark and knocking the syringe from Rumsfeld’s hand, the vial shattering against the floor. 

“You little bitch,” Rumsfeld snarled, striking out with the knife that had been in his other hand, stabbing Joe low in the gut. 

Nicky saw red at that and with one last sharp tug jerked his hands free. He didn’t wait for them to heal, instead lashing out at Rumsfeld with a short sharp kick that pushed the other man back towards Joe. 

Joe, for his part recovered quickly from being stabbed, even with the knife sticking out of his stomach, getting his legs up around Rumsfeld when Nicky had kicked the other man into him, clamping his thighs around the man’s neck in a chokehold. 

“Fuck off,” Joe spits, before jerking his legs to the side, the loud crack of Rumsfeld’s neck echoing through the room, dead body falling limply you the ground when Joe released him. 

“You ok?” Nicky asked, using a half healed hand to steady Joe so he wasn’t swinging back and forth in the restraints. 

“Yeah, fuck just get the knife out of me, I can feel the skin trying to close around it.” Nicky pulled the knife out, letting out a loud sigh of relief when he pulled Joe’s shirt up and watched Joe’s skin begin to knit back together. That would had been startlingly similar to one he had seen on Joe’s body 30 years ago. 

“There have to be keys somewhere,” he went back to rummage around Rumsfeld’s jacket, finding what he was looking for quickly and dragging the chair over so he could stand on it to uncuff Joe. 

He hadn’t been entirely prepared for the way Joe pulled him in close after he had been uncuffed and Nicky had climbed down from the chair, arms around Nicky’s waist, hiding his face in the side of Nicky’s neck. Nicky hesitated for just a moment, before winding his arms around Joe in return. “It’s ok...” he’d started to say something about them being safe now, but the words were caught in his throat, they’d never been safe, probably never would be again with so many men out in the world like Rumsfeld, and he couldn’t bring himself to lie to Joe. “We’re going to get out of here, Rumsfeld is dead and the others are here now,” he said instead. 

Joe’s voice was muffled when he spoke, and he sounded thoroughly exhausted but Nicky was just able to make out his words. “They took you, after they killed you they took you away and I didn’t know if you had come back, and then we were separated for so long, in these old dank cells in who knows where and I didn’t know what had happened to you. It felt so real, like I was there and had lived all of it.”

Ah, the memory. Nicky wasn’t certain exactly what point in time Joe had seen, he and a Joe had been captured so many times they started to blur together a bit, but he thinks the time Joe had been describing might have been during the Spanish Inquisition. They’d caught them both and tortured them, killing Nicky in the process and then dumping his body outside of the prison. Once he’d woken up, suddenly free and amongst a pile of dead bodies, he’d proceeded to rip the men who had taken them a part to get Joe free. Joe had been a bit of a mess for weeks after that, it had been one of the first times he had watched Nicky die and then not been around to watch him come back. In the end the only remedy to cure the anxiety that had set in for his other half had been a few weeks on their own in Malta, only leaving the bedroom when necessity dictated they must.

“It’s ok, that was a long time ago and we’re here now,” Nicky soothed, running a calming hand down Joe’s back. 

“I can’t keep having these half memories come back, I want them all back or I want them to stop,” Joe was starting to shake a bit and Nicky could feel a warm wetness against his neck.

“I don’t think we are going to get much of a say in this,” Nicky lifted a hand to Joe’s hair, running a soothing hand through his sweaty curls. “Destiny doesn’t seem to care much for what we might want.”

“Fuck destiny,” Joe’s voice sounded wet with tears and so completely worn out but Nicky could hear just a little laughter in his tone and that set Nicky at ease. 

Nicky just laughed and held Joe closer, both of them sinking down to the floor together and just holding each other for a few moments. 

Andy, Booker, and Nile would find them like that only a minute or two later, sitting in a hard cement floor and murmuring comforting words to each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, my interpretation of “that time in Malta” is that the boys had a sex vacation after a very harrowing mission.


	13. Chapter 13

Nicky was glad Andy had chosen one of their nicer safe houses in the area, this one had two bathrooms so they didn’t have to wait too long for everyone to get the grime and dirt cleaned off of themselves. 

Nicky was seated at the kitchen table across from Nile, both clean and with a mug of tea in front of them, when Andy entered to room towel across her shoulders and hair still dripping a bit. 

“Booker’s calling Copley to debrief and let him know we’re going to ground for a few weeks. We all need a break after this,” Andy started making herself a cup of coffee and sitting down across from Nicky. “Where’s Joe?”

“Sleeping, for now,” Nicky answered. Joe had been almost nonverbal for the entire drive to the safe house and even after getting to the safe house the most he had done was utter a soft thank you when Nicky handed him a clean set of clothes and ushered him over towards the shower first. When Nicky emerged from his own shower he found Joe curled on one of the three beds that had been shoved into the master bedroom. He was tucked in tightly on himself, trying be take up as little room as possible, but he was also sound asleep and for that Nicky was grateful. 

“You should get some rest too Nicky, I’m sure you’re exhausted,” Nile reached over to place a comforting hand in Nicky’s arm. 

“I’m fine, Joe took the brunt of most of it, Rumsfeld seemed to be fixated with him the most.” Nicky had been beaten a bit and stabbed, but Rumsfeld had really laid into Joe, beating him and touching him in a way that made Nicky’s blood boil. 

Andy didn’t say anything, but the look she gave Nicky spoke volumes. She was worried, about both of them, but mostly worried about Nicky. “Is he going to be ok?” she asked after a few long moments of silence. 

“I don’t know,” and he genuinely didn’t. Had it just been the mission gone wrong Nicky had little doubt Joe would already be bouncing off the walls, excited to take on another mission, excited to do some good and help someone. This version of Joe was proving to be no less resilient than Nicky’s Joe and Nicky could say with absolute certainty that a kidnapping and a bit of torture wouldn’t keep him down for even a moment. 

“He’s strong, he’ll be up in no time,” clearly Nile thought the same. 

Nicky just shook his head. “It’s not the mission that’s the problem.” Booker has just returned to the room, good, perhaps he had been able to find something or had some theories. “He’s remembering things, things he wasn’t there for and things he shouldn’t know anything about. It comes and goes in waves, mostly when he is asleep or unconscious but there are other things, little things that seemed innocuous to me at first but when I start looking at it in its totality it seems to be something more. He remembers liking foods he’s never had, seems to be able to easily navigate every street in Malta even though he’s never been there, even some of his mannerisms and speech patterns have changed over the last few months. I don’t know what’s happening and neither does he and the not knowing is taking a toll on him.” He looked directly at Booker now, “did you find anything?”

Booker scratched at the back of his neck for a moment before answering. “It’s not much to go in but there are a few old philosophical treatises that talk about reincarnation, some old religious texts too. None of them give us anything concrete but they all center in on the idea of souls that were bound together continuing to find each other lifetime after lifetime. In most cases it’s just people having this weird sense of deja vu and sort of being driven to find each other but I imagine that’s to be expected when both parties are reincarnated with no real memories from their past life beyond sort of vague recollections. You being alive and remembering everything sort of shifts the balance, makes it kind of impossible to figure out which way this whole things going to fall. Most likely meeting you started to trigger some of the memories but who knows if or when he’ll get all of them back. To be honest I’m not even sure we’d want him to have all the memories back, two lives crammed in one head could be enough to drive anyone insane.”

“Better that than this sort of half remembered dreams that don’t even seem real,” they all startled a bit, they must have been truly exhausted if none of them had heard Joe enter the room. 

Joe stood in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning on the frame with the old comforter off of one of the beds wrapped around his shoulders. His hair was a mess and he clearly had just woken up but there was something haunted and terrified in his eyes that set Nicky on edge. “Another memory?” He found himself asking. 

Joe nodded. “The first time we killed each other, or at least it felt like the first time.” He looked over at Booker now. “Is there a way to speed it up, get everything back faster?”

“You so sure you want that kid?” Booker asked. “No guarantee what will happen if you get everything back, no way of knowing if your consciousness will just sort of fade away and be replaced with our Joe at the end of the day.”

Joe just shook his head. “It doesn’t feel like we’re two separate people, just different memories, more memories, not ones that are necessarily distinct to me or him. Even referring to us as two separate people is starting to feel wrong.”

“Joe you don’t need to do this for me,” Nicky was standing now, walking over to Joe’s side, placing a gentle hand on Joe’s cheek to so he was looking at only Nicky now. Joe pressed into the touch, eyes going half lidded and a bit distant. “You don’t need to put yourself through all of this just because you think it will bring him back.”

“I’m not only doing this for you,” Joe responded, his own hand coming up to take Nicky’s, twining their fingers together and holding it close to his chest. “Right now it feels like something is missing in my brain, like some part of me is just out of reach and I’m not who I’m supposed to be and I just want it to stop.” He pulled his gaze away from Nicky to look at Booker again. “Is there anything we can do.”

“There are some old rituals, they’re pretty ancient so no guarantee it will work.”

“What are they?”

“You’re really not going to like them kid, trust me.”


	14. Chapter 14

“The translation is sketchy at best on some of these, the text we found wasn’t an original for most of these but Andy was able to make heads or tails of most of the errors the original translators had made.,” Booker started, laying out some documents on the table in front of them. “There are some technicalities, lunar phases to deal with, alignments in the stars dictating when things need to occur on specific dates and some of the texts are a little contradictory on what dates specifically are needed, but the general consensus seems to be that something from your previous life, something that would be a first in your new life, needs to occur to trigger the memories. And it can’t just be something random, it has to be meaningful. “

“Death, that could be pretty meaningful, especially for us and easy enough to work around given that we can’t die,” Nile offered up. 

Nicky just shook his head, “we both died in Merrick’s lab after we had met so wouldn’t be a first.”

“You haven’t killed each other yet, that was a pretty big deal for you and Joe,” Booker commented. 

“I’m not killing Nicky,” Joe snapped back immediately even before Nicky could say the same. “Even if I felt like emotionally I could handle that I wouldn’t. We don’t know what we’re messing with here and I’m not risking this entire thing backfiring and Nicky ending up dead.”

“First kiss?” Nile offered up, causing Nicky to immediately start blushing. 

“Off the table even before this mission, and for sure off the table after we finished play acting at being a couple,” Nicky stated, avoiding Joe’s eyes as he did. 

“Family is probably out too, not really something you shared in the first place and we cant exactly track down any extended relations and explain this to them,”Booker added. 

“So that leaves us with.....”Nile trailed off as she tried to think of something. 

“Sex,” Andy finished. “It leaves us with sex.”

Nicky felt himself flush again and this time Joe was the one to avoid his gaze. 

“Is there anything else?” Nicky hopes the hurt didn’t show in this face when Joe spoke, his voice so soft and lost sounding. 

“I’ve been around the block enough with these weird ancient rituals, most of the time they don’t work, but in the rare occasion they do it’s always had something to do with sex or death,” Andy commented. 

Nicky bumped his shoulder against Joe’s, trying to offer a little comfort. “You don’t have to do this.”

Joe finally looked up and met Nicky’s eyes. “I mean I have been trying to get into your pants for months,” the way he tried to play this off and the bravado he was trying to feign was undermined by the way his voice was stilted and the unsure look in his eyes. It made Nicky want to pull him into a hug and not let go. “You don’t have to do this either you know. I know I’m not exactly who you want, not yet at least, and if you feel like this would be betraying his memory we can figure something else out.” He added. 

To be honest Nicky’s immediate concern when it became apparent this would be the only course of action hadn’t really been for himself. He was far more worried that Joe was throwing himself into this out of some need to make Nicky happy, to return to him the most precious thing he had ever called his own. He was worried what would happen when Joe’s memories of his entire past life came back, worried it would be too much for his young psyche to handle. 

For himself though, he couldn’t really place how he felt. He’d been attracted to Joe since day one, certainly, and by now he was fairly certain it wasn’t just because of how he looked and acted. Sure, the resemblance to his Yusuf was striking and they had so many commonalities in terms of their personality, but there was also something magnetic about Joe that was all his own, a softness that had been absent from their lives before due to the nature of how long they lived. 

“How long do we have to decide?” Booker had said the ritual needed to occur at a specific time, maybe they’d have some opportunity to think it through. 

“Five hours,” we’ll damn. 

—  
Booker, Andy and Nile had left to gather the few supplies they needed. Candles, some sage for purification, really that was about it. From what Booker described this entire thing was starting to sound less like an actual ritual of any sort and more like just a case of timing the actual event perfectly. 

Joe had gone out to the small yard in the back of the house while Nicky kept to the kitchen where he could still see Joe from the window over the sink. For the first hour or so Joe had paced back and forth, lips moving as though he was muttering something to himself, trying to reason through his decision. But now he was seated on the stone steps that led up to the patio off the back of the house, his back to Nicky and head in his hands. 

Nicky knew exactly what Joe was struggling with, knew where Joe’s thoughts were going and why the decision hadn’t been made yet. 

Both versions of Joe that had existed had been kind, endlessly passionate, and would do everything in their power to protect the ones they loved. This Joe might not be completely in love with Nicky yet, at least Nicky thought he didn’t, but he still knew the course of action he would choose was most likely the one that he perceived to hurt Nicky the least, even if it wasn’t what was in Joe’s best interest. 

Nicky, in turn, wasn’t even entirely sure where he fell on the issue. Having sex with Joe wasn’t the issue. Somewhere between pretending to be a couple and getting kidnapped he had made his peace with the attraction he felt towards Joe and the knowledge that even if it had been under completely different circumstances his Yusuf wouldn’t have begrudged him any happiness he might have found. The bigger issue was the ramifications of Joe’s memories returning and how little they knew about the impact that would have on Joe’s mind. On the one hand, the way Joe had described feeling over the last several days, the uncomfortable sense of not being entirely whole, like something important was missing from who you were or some memory was just out of reach, well that could be the sort of thing that could drive someone, particularly an immortal staring down centuries of life, to insanity. But they also didn’t know the impact of having those memories back. Would Joe as he is now just sort of fade away, his consciousness and memories wiped away in favor of those from his past life or would they exist in his mind together, two lifetimes crammed into on head? 

They had no way of knowing and that was terrifying. 

Nicky had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed Joe had come inside, standing just inside the door that led to the back porch, leaning up against the frame, until Joe started speaking. 

“I think I’ve figured out what I need.”

Nicky stayed seated, simply motioning to Joe that he should go ahead, hoping that Joe could read in Nicky’s expression that this was his decision to make, that he shouldn’t be deciding based purely on what he thought Nicky might want. 

Joe let out a shaky breath before he began, eyes glued to the ground refusing to meet Nicky’s gaze. “I know you don’t want this, don’t want me and I know you feel as though you’ve been backed into a corner....”

Nicky was in his feet in an instant and across the room in three short strides so that he was standing in front of Joe, hand coming up to gently tip Joe’s chin up so their eyes met. “Who said I didn’t want you?”

Joe just gave him a weak smile. “The most I could ever be is an imitation Nicky, I’m not who you want.”

Well that wouldn’t do. “You may not be my Joe, but that doesn’t make you something lesser in my eyes. You’re strong, you care so much for the world and are so optimistic about the good in humanity. You almost radiate light and are one of the fiercest souls I have ever met. Anyone who doesn’t want you would be a fool.” The hand that had been under Joe’s chin shifted up to cradle his jaw, Joe immediately leaning into the touch, eyes fluttering closed. “And you don’t get to make that decision for me. If I couldn’t handle this, if I didn’t want to do this then it’s my responsibility to say that, not yours.”

Joe didn’t even bother to open his eyes when he spoke, just turned to press a soft kiss to Nicky’s palm. “Except you wouldn’t. You’re so focused on everyone else, on making sure they are taken care of that in the end you would just let me make the decision and go along with whatever that was.” Joe opened his eyes now, locking them with Nicky, “even if it killed you inside.”

“So were both self sacrificing idiots who can’t make a decision, where does that leave us then, flip a coin,” Nicky had meant to bring some levity back to conversation but even he could admit the joke rang hollow as soon as he said it. 

Joe just shook his head, a small smile on his face despite the failed attempt at humor.

“Maybe then the best course of action is that we’re honest with each other and talk through the decision rather than trying to make our own choices?” Nicky offered. “Set the physical concerns aside, because frankly wanting to have sex with you is not the core issue here. What are you thinking right now?”

Joe hesitated and Nicky pressed on, leaning a bit more into Joe’s space but still only maintaining the single point of contact, his hand on Joe’s cheek, in an effort to both give Joe the space he needed and provide some comfort in the form of physical contact. “Honesty Joe, that’s the only way we’re going to get anywhere.”

“I’m afraid,” Joe said, shifting forward closer to Nicky, just a hairsbreadth of distance between them now. “I’m scared it won’t work. Scared it will. Scared to remember everything but also scared that it won’t help and that I’ll still feel like something is missing. I’m scared what it will do to you if it doesn’t work. I feel like there is no right choice.”

“I’m afraid of those things too,” Nicky found himself saying. “And I worry that you’ll set those fears aside and make a decision based on the choice you think I want you to make,” Nicky’s other hand came up now to frame Joe’s face and hold his gaze. “I want you to make this choice for you, not for me.”

Joe’s hands came up as well, wrapping around Nicky’s wrists as though in some effort to ground himself. “I don’t think I can live the rest of my life feeling like I’m half the person I’m supposed to be.”

“I don’t want that for you either. I don’t want either of us to wonder what might have been if this works.”


End file.
